Monday, June 30, 2014

Out to lunch

Maybe I am too good at my job. Otherwise I have no other explaination as to why people feel they need to talk to me and me alone. It's as if the other technicians and sales personel are not standing right there waiting to help customers. I have litteraly seen them stand there, ignore the tech that asks them if they need help and say, "oh I talked to him on the phone..." just waiting for me to lay my hands on their bike. Am I grateful that they value the service I offer? Sure. But not while I am eating lunch.
I do not go out to lunch but rather sit in front of this computer, typing a blog, reading Bike Snob, and checking out all the bike porn that you can find on sites like Bike Rumor and BRAIN. I deserve that time. I earned it. I stand all day. Sometimes I just want to sit. Sit and eat, and read, and be left alone for 30 minutes. Is that too much to ask? Yes...yes it is.
I sit at my work bench because that is where my computer is. Rather then seeing a dude stuff his face and thinking, "oh, he's eating..." somehow, my mouthful of food acts as an ass hat magnet in such a way that, upon entering the store, Fred here, 
just has to come over and ask me if I can look at his Carbon Whos-a-whats-it Bicycle.

No Fred, I can't. I am eating lunch. If you can come back in an hour, sure. But for now, one of the other guys would be happy to help you.
I can assure you, that does not sit well with a Fred. But I got news for them... I don't really give a shit.

Read the sign Jack...
(smiley face :)

...oh, that's right! I forgot they didn't teach reading at (name of Ivy League school redacted).

Clearly that is the case too because here is another sign that is written entirely in Chinese...
  
(Google Translate: Please drag your pile of crap through this door)

The other door causes some confusion as well as it clearly says 
"Customer AND Service Entrance"
Meaning, go through what ever door you like so long as you are not dragging a rust bucket across the showroom floor. There is a separate door for that.



Not only can they not read, but they also breed! That means we have a whole new generation of illiterate, entitled Fred's to deal with in the future. With that in mind, let's take a moment for a special announcement:



I don't mind the incessant bell ringing that comes after you pointed out the pink bike bells to them, I mean they make noise. Yea! If it keeps them occupied, Great! Go ahead. But PLEASE, don't let them shift the gears and climb on all the bikes in the showroom. They could get hurt, or they could mess something up. You don't want to be put in that position and I don't want to be the one to put you there when they break something. What I am trying to say here is, give a shit about what your kid is doing when they are out in public. By teaching them some proper manners once in a while, they may end up decent kids and not mini-me douchebags that we see on the news. Also...don't let them finger the sunglasses, they are expensive and it fucks them up. I mean, yeah, they are all, "Dad, don't I look cute?" Sure you do kiddo, but don't make me punch you in your stupid face. 

Just kidding ;)

...but seriously.