Monday, September 30, 2013

Engineers...The devil's henchmen

That's right, I said it. Every year the "industry" comes up with a new way to make an old thing.
Some engineer designs it, and sells it to the brand saying, "it's this much more stiff, and still really comfortable..." "Or, lighter..." or "more aero." 
Oh yeah? I call bullshit.
Back in the day, we had products that worked great and lasted for fucking ever. Sure they were a little heavier, but they stood the test of time. Now, we are left with "creaky" bottom brackets because those same engineers decided they could make shit lighter by removing what was proven to have worked, and replacing it with shit like with nylon cups glued into a frame.
I got news for ya Jack, when a dude spends 10k on a fucking "top-of-the-line what have you" and has to bring it back in a week because his bottom bracket is making noise, it was a bad design. When I have to call your warranty department and you tell me to use "a stronger loctite," then indeed, the design was a stupid one to begin with. Sure it's stiffer, but what good is it if you can't use it?
A.) That's what she said
B.) Not very good at all,dipshit

Once upon a time, there was this dude...
Tougher than a coffin nail, and a pretty snazzy dresser. He invented a lot of shit, and was really good at it too. He founded his company 80 years ago with the mindset of "...there has got to be a better way."

Among his many contributions to our world, was this...

The threaded, square-taper bottom bracket. It was (and still is) amazing.
The frame had to have threads, and once installed, it had to be adjusted by hand. It spun for days.

Then this happened...
Which, honestly, was not that bad. I mean, it spun like shit, but the bearings were sealed, meaning it had to be worked on less. It also moved the bearings to the outside of the frame, giving a stiffer pedaling platform.
But this is the beginning of the end for "standards." As far as the history of bottom brackets go, this is the part on the timeline where the creaking begins.
Carbon frame, aluminum insert with threads, cups threaded into them. Would have been a great idea if you didn't have to use large amounts of teflon tape on the threads to keep the materials from touching, otherwise making it sound like your frame is breaking in half.
...because it is.
(This would not have happened mind you, if the frame had been made of aluminum or steel, but they want carbon.  They all want carbon)

"But if we widen the carbon bottom bracket shell, we can just press bearings into the frame. Now it'll be stiffer!"
(In this moment of sheer dorktitude, the engineers high five for having solved a problem which should not have existed.)

But then I digress...

This $2,000 frame is in the trash now because the Carbon shell went egg-shaped, and with no threads and only loctite holding it in, the cup came right out with just my fingers, after one year.
The white spot in the picture shows the amount of seperation between the cups and the frame. 
Doesn't look that bad, but bad enough that it was replaced. 
Carbon is not recycleable. It is bullshit that an entire frame is wasted due to failure. 

I spent as much as that bike was worth on a handbuilt steel bike, and this happened...
A small crack above the bottom bracket due to a flaw in the tube. But guess fucking what, 
They cut that bitch out, and welded in another one for FREE. 
Now it looks like this
And I will ride this bitch into the Mad Max times. 
External bearings and all... 

Sorry about your carbon frame. 
"Your bottom bracket creaks?!"

"...needs more glue I guess."

Friday, September 27, 2013

I'm not always angry though...

This is not meant to be a bitch fest, I mean, no one wants to hear someone whine all the time. I also hope to share why I love what I do. 

So here's some bike porn for ya. 

This is a top of the line Waterford that I got to build the other day. 

Complete with beautiful Velo Orange hammered fenders, and Campagnolo Chorus. 

The most beautiful hand filed stainless lugs you will ever see

 This bicycle will not sit on display. It will likely see hundreds of thousands of miles as a loaded touring bike. 

"Price tag?" You say... $10,000 

Still not the biggest ticket item I have built, but easily my favorite. 

Stay tuned for some other great builds:
-Bianchi Oltre Super Record EPS
-1942 Bates with a Sturmey Archer ASC 
3 spees Fixed gear hub
And more. 

Like I said, it's things like this that make me love what I do. It's the other things that make it insufferable. 

I will spare you the details for tonight, but after that, no one is safe. 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

I am angry, get used to it.

This is what you need to know about me. 

My Name is Jason. 
I work on bicycles. 

So please,Tell me one more time how you know more about my job than I do. Please, I beg you. Give me a reason to go full asshat on you. I'm not really a jerk, you just piss me off. I don't come down to the rocket surgery store and tell you where the flux capacitor goes, so get off my ass and let me do my job. 
In a nut shell, I deal with the likes of you everyday, and from hence forth will be repeating your ridiculousness here. Not evey day as I got other shit to do, but when the mood strikes, you will hear about it.  

Like the guy who brings me this jem. 

"My 'pedals' won't turn..." 
Yeah, this exploded in your bottom bracket shell. 

"No, it's the pedals man!" 

Okay. WTF do I know?
After all...
I'm not a rocket surgeon.