Tuesday, October 15, 2013

If I were your bike, I would hate you

So this next jem is brought to you by a big old helping of "I don't give a shit."
(If you have small children in the room, cover their eyes) 
So the best I can figure, this guy did not get the memo that said, "steel is real, and so is rust." 
After a second glance, my best guess is that the guy either;
A) rode it hard and put it away wet, or
B) pissed all over his bike for the last 5 years and did NOTHING other than that. 

I'm gonna go with "B." 

So after pissing down the side of the bike, not only did he not clean it, he decided that the chain needed more lube. 
...and so did the stays,
...as well as the wheels. 
I mean, maybe it was stopping too well, and decided if he used enough lube, he could avoid stopping at all and keep his chain from rusting at the same time. 
That's sound logic. 
So nedless to say, the frame is turbo fucked and is now in a scrap yard somewhere. 
So what next for that dude? 
He bought another steel frame. 
What a shame.
I can hear it already, sobbing heavily as the dude yells, "it puts the lube on its chain or else it gets pissed on again!"

In other news from the land of thoughless neglect...

"It doesn't shift any more."
You don't say...

"It keeps breaking spokes too."
Really? I can't see any reason why that would happen (I said with heavy sarcasm). 

"I know, right?!"

I don't have time for this.